It's late at night. I'm still logged in to the messenger with my laboratory partner Stephanie, trying to make sense out of the experiment we did last Monday. My "heart" is tired of these chemical equations and it's really starting to show. Is this just one of those so-called moments of weakness? I try to study, but almost nothing comes in. I used to convince myself that all this hard work and "sacrifice" will all be worth it in the end. But is it really the ending I want to have? My father said once that I always think about the future and almost never think about the present. I do think about the present. Everyday, I deal with what I'm given. I'll say a bunch of complaints if I don't like it. But I'm still going to do it. And I'm still going to do my best, even if it takes me far from where I want to be. But nothing seems to compensate for the loss. I think I'm growing weaker.Now, let's think a little bit about that future my father says I think so much of... No one wants their life to go to waste. No one wants to grow old and have regrets. It's weird how I can say that I'll regret the decision to accept at some point in the future. But I'm still here, accepting what was given and trying to dispose of what I have. Will I be completely numb someday?
I've got nothing to replace the Pocky commercial on my profile. My external hard drive is currently with Kristine for our project so I don't have any photos to post either. I was planning to post at least on photo for each post, so people would see something other and just words here. Sorry people. Maybe in the next post.
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