Boy,Dont Cry

Dearest,

When was the last time you cried yourself to sleep? Not that I long for you to be emotionally distressed, enough for you to shed tears… Remember, you used to tell me, “Such a beautiful release it is to strum one’s emotional strings; to bathe naked one’s soul with the swelling eyes.”

Yes, it truly is human nature. Mama’s babe cries hard upon his first choking gasp of air—and I guess, it pays, sometimes to be mummy’s teary eyed grown-up. It brings back a sense of a new beginning—much like a re-birth.

But it’s hard isn’t it?

In this contemporary time when many are in physical, emotional, spiritual, social and even internal pain, and many thus find a sense of comfort in sobbing, shouldn’t I be thankful that I haven’t had found reason to cry?

As I grow older, I feel more fortified from the “sea of emotions” that I once attributed to life. Innocence lost leads to numbing out, I guess. It’s no pretty picture, but right now it is what I see.

I feel like singing now:
Hush little baby don’t you cry, mama’s go’nna buy you a Mocking Bird.
And if that Mocking Bird don’t mock, mama’s go’nna buy you a diamond ring.

Matter more than ideas has concerned me a lot lately. Not that I am focusing my energies into making myself rich. No sir! But, I hadn’t had the luxury of time to breathe-in figments. I miss doing this.

I remember myself cry every time I finish writing something which truly reflects my ideas-- but not lately. No time even to write. How come, when I have owed much from this art, why have I deliberately allowed myself to find a block… a valid reason not to attempt writing.

The obsession of material concerns have taken control over subliminal forms of compulsion: crying, writing, deep-breathing, praying… keeping attuned with self. I truly miss my self.

Perhaps, it’s not just me. Maybe even you, my dearest, had you had time to cry whilst someone goes to buy you something so you could just hush… Be a child. Pretend that your diamonds do not glitter. Cry your heart out.

Four days have passed since I sprained my left foot ankle. Finally, it is no longer swollen. Tomorrow I am back to work. Am I glad to have slipped on the bathroom floor, though I didn’t cry because of pain, I was forced to have time to my self… and finally, write. But not cry =)

can't make up my mind!

i can't make up my mind.. should i still love you or not? my mind keeps telling me to forget about you... but my heart still screams your name.. oh god i hate this.. i wan't you back, my heart say... get out of my life, my mind shouts... oh i totally hate this kind of dilemma...

This Calculator

It's late at night. I'm still logged in to the messenger with my laboratory partner Stephanie, trying to make sense out of the experiment we did last Monday. My "heart" is tired of these chemical equations and it's really starting to show. Is this just one of those so-called moments of weakness? I try to study, but almost nothing comes in. I used to convince myself that all this hard work and "sacrifice" will all be worth it in the end. But is it really the ending I want to have? My father said once that I always think about the future and almost never think about the present. I do think about the present. Everyday, I deal with what I'm given. I'll say a bunch of complaints if I don't like it. But I'm still going to do it. And I'm still going to do my best, even if it takes me far from where I want to be. But nothing seems to compensate for the loss. I think I'm growing weaker.Now, let's think a little bit about that future my father says I think so much of... No one wants their life to go to waste. No one wants to grow old and have regrets. It's weird how I can say that I'll regret the decision to accept at some point in the future. But I'm still here, accepting what was given and trying to dispose of what I have. Will I be completely numb someday?

I've got nothing to replace the Pocky commercial on my profile. My external hard drive is currently with Kristine for our project so I don't have any photos to post either. I was planning to post at least on photo for each post, so people would see something other and just words here. Sorry people. Maybe in the next post.

Why am I attracted to you? ????

Why am I attracted to you?
It's how you make me feel so true.
You make my blood burn with fire.
My feelings run wild with you, such pleasure, such desire!

I remember every moment we share.
No matter how insignificant it may seem, I still care.
When I am down, you lift me up.
You teach me to never give up.

When I look within your eyes, your penetrating glaze is so strong.
It's as though I look at the sun too long.
I close my eyes, and see you again.
I see the way you move, smile, and the places you've been.

I am in orbit around you,
suspended weightless as I look at your eyes so true.
The sound of your voice sends me in a delerious high,
my head spinning as though I could fly.

I am and always will be the one that loves you without limits.
I anticipate your touch, such passion in it.
I have breathed you in and need you with me.
I tremble, the thought of you sharing moments with me.

I dream of you beneath me and above me, such a pleasurable treasure.
No one else to you can measure.
Make all my blackness go away from me tonight.
Allow you and I to be connected by a tunnel of light.


....and I will,
....forever love you.

regrets of the past....

regrets?????yeah,ang dami and thts the reason y i believe on this message...hm,from a friend....THE GREATEST MISTAKES THAT WE MAKE ARE THE RISKS WE DIDN'T TAKE,SO IF YOU THINK SOMETHING WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY,GO FOR IT SO U WONT LIVE UR LIFE ASKING'WHAT IF'' AND TELLING YOURSELF ''IF ON;Y'' ....... revelation baya ni xa.........JUST WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING, NOW?...still tangled....
I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME.IT COULDN'T BE LOVE BUT SOMETHING ELSE THAT KEEPS YOUR NAME hERe ON MY MIND.
YOUR MERE PRESENCE PUTS ME IN A MOOD OF SERENITY AND CONTENT,SO MUCH SO THAT I NO LONGER BROOD.I HAVE NO ANGER LEFT TO VENT.WHAT MAKES TWO imPERFECT (friends)lang!!!BECOME
UNITED BOTH IN HEART AND MIND?WHO KNOWS WHERE WE'RE GOING TO OR FROM.HOW WE'LL GET THERE OR WHAT WE'LL FIND?
it HAPPENED and I CAN'T BELIEVE it!!!!FRIENDSHIP that is SOoooo RARE For all those adventures?????and funny moments tha we've shared.FOR THoSE THINGS I THANK YOU FROM MY SOUL,HOPELESS ROMANTIC CAN YOU TELL?AND FOR ALL THE MOMENTS THAT WE STOLE,I SAY AGAIN, THANK YOU.........joke.....!!!!so thanks nalang lugar....see you in the near future.....if it's meant to be i believe our roads will meet soon....not here????maybe in other dimension

AT YoUr BeSt..

When I feel what I feel
Sometimes it's hard to tell you so
You may not be in the mood to learn what you think you know

There are times when I find
You wanna keep yourself from me
When I don't have the strength; I'm just a mirror of what I see

But at your best you are love
You're a positive motivating force within my life
Should you ever feel the need to wonder why
Let me know, let me know
know, let me know

When you feel what you feel
Oh, how hard for me to understand
So many things have taken place before this love affair began

But if you feel, girl, like I feel
Confusion can give way to doubt
For there are times when I fall short of what I say,
What I say I'm all about, all about

But at your best you are love
You're a positive motivating force within my life
Should you ever feel the need to wonder why
Let me know, let me know

Tell me what it is (Tell me what it is)
There's no need to make believe
(Make believe, no need to make believe)
Look beyond your world (Look beyond your world)
Try and find a place for me (Try and find, a better place for me)

Cause at your best you are love
You're a positive motivating force within my life
And if you ever feel the need to wonder why
Let me know, let me know
let me know 3x
know...
stay at your best, baby...

The new pbb Teen edition plus now almost on it first week

Here are the new 12 Fresh new house mates of PBB season II edition plus and now having almost i week on the house of kuya

Ejay

Ejay Falcon is 18 from Mindoro. According to his profile, he is said to have fair skin and during his first visit to Manila has trouble with technological gadgets and even elevators. He was also in Manila to find his mother, only to find out she had another family.

Kevin
Kevin Garcia is a 18-year-old Filipino-Irish from Madrid, Spain. He is a product of a broken family, he is also an able equestrian rider.

Nicole
Nicole Uysiuseng is a 17-year-old Filipino-Chinese girl. At home, she lived a sheltered life, being a pampered girl and a good sister to her three younger brothers. She is however not very fashionable and not so much sociable, as she does not have many friends. She aims to change that perception during her stay in the House.

Linda
Linda Backlund is 16 from Iriga City. A half-Swede, she intially had a luxurious life until her Swedish father left her and her family behind. To supplement her family income, she frequently joins beauty contests and bikini competitions.

Nan
Arnan “Nan” Clenuar is a 17-year-old jokester from Davao. He is profiled as frequent prankster who does not take life seriously because he would become insane if he does. But his comedian antics are equalled with his niceness towards his mother.

Alex
Alex Anselmuccio is an 18-year-old soccer player from Milan, Italy. His parents are an unemployed Italian father and a Filipina mother who had worked for 28 years as a domestic helper. To better enhance his soccer skills, he even had his feet operated because he was flatfooted. He aims to have a job in his mother’s homeland to help his family.

Rona
Rona Marie Libby is 16 from Dumaguete. She is profiled as a “prisoner’s daughter” as her father has been in prison for four years for an unspecified crime. Despite this, she and her siblings have excelled in many activities, both in academics and in extra-curricular ones. She aims to have her father released from his incarceration.

Jieriel
Jieriel Papa is 16 from Davao. She relates that she was once a chubby child, but she has managed to have a slim figure due to an “after-six diet.”

Jolas
Jolas Paguia is an 18-year-old basketball player from Bulacan. Unsurprisingly, he stands 6? 4? (193 cm) tall. He and his father have dreams of the former being in the professional league, but these dreams were almost imperiled when they had spats with each other. Upon Jolas’ entry, this conflict appears to be resolved.

Beauty
Beauty Gonzalez is 16 from Dumaguete. Having lived a pampared life, she is used to being served, leading to an aggressive and rebellious attitude, one which she has started to change upon her entry into the House.

Valerie
Valerie Weignmann is 18 from Germany. She is profiled as a “Daddy’s Girl” currently trying to reestablish her ties with her Filipina mother since the death of her German father. Although she has lived most of her life in Germany, she has a great Filipina sensibility, visiting her mother’s country very often. She also has a good command of the Tagalog language and has plans to enter Philippine showbiz.

Priscilla
Priscilla Navidad is a 17-year-old beauty queen from Davao. She is a hearing-impaired person who communicates through lip reading. According to her profile, she had to undergo surgery at age two, but eventually lost her hearing when she was eleven. Furthermore, her father died when she was six. Despite these obstacles, she was able to win several pageant titles, including the Miss Teen Mindanao title in 2007.

Robi
Robert “Robi” Domingo is an 18-year-old Atenean from Quezon City. He is profiled as a good boy who is not very adept at wooing girls. He is one of the two Plus housemates connected to his school’s storied rivalry with De La Salle University.

Josef
Marc Josef Elizalde is a 16-year-old La Sallite from Mandaluyong. He is profiled as a complete opposite of Robi: a rebellious boy who is also a virtual chick magnet. He is one of the two Plus housemates connected to the storied rivalry between his school’s parent institution and Ateneo de Manila University.